This is a series on how to quit people-pleasing. Every week I’ll share with you very important tips about self-appreciation to start valuing yourself and stop always putting others first because occasionally the right answer is “no”. Whatever the case may be, trying to satisfy others and doing whatever it takes to please them, believe it or not, is not healthy for your mind.
Want to know more? Keep reading.
Why are you always trying to please others?
I know that quitting people-pleasing is actually not an easy thing. Because this is something that you have been doing for a long time. And somehow your brain believes that you have to make other people happy, or comfortable. Because if you do that, they will know you’re easygoing, cool, and likable. And actually, you’re doing that because you are a human and as humans, we want to fit in and to be liked.
But the reality here is that you’re not living your life on your own terms. Because you’re always putting other people’s feelings before your own. You’re not doing what you want when you spend your time giving your power away. You’re not really where you wish to be and doing what you truly enjoy because you spend so much time doing what other people want you to do, instead of doing what YOU really want to do. Quitting people-pleasing makes you realize that you have a choice. You have a choice of owning where you are, be who you want to be, and doing what you want to do. Maybe you have been told you need to please others in order to fit in, to find friends, and be accepted. Or even more ridiculously, you have been told you need to please people because that’s your job as a woman. So you have been acting your entire life as what you “should” and not as what you like.
You should value yourself...and sometimes that means putting yourself first
This is just like a trick in your mind that you are believing yourself when actually you need to realize you do have a choice! And that is what my first tip of this week is about: If you want to quit people-pleasing, you need to learn self-acceptance. I will say this again (so that it sticks in your mind!) If you want to quit people-pleasing you need to learn self-acceptance. You have the freedom of being who you really are and doing what you really like, but you need to love yourself and actually need to accept who you are. No one is perfect. But you just need to learn how to love your qualities and how to love your flaws. I know that something can be extremely complicated, especially for those of you who are perfectionists and have high expectations from you. But this is key. Loving yourself means valuing who you are. If you don’t love yourself, you will not put yourself first and you will always say yes to other people, whether you like it or not.
So the questions that you need to ask yourself are: “Why do you think you’re not worth it?” What makes you think you’re not good enough? What makes you believe you can’t express who truly you are? Think about this, make a list and share it with me down below. Because everything you’re going to tell me I will show you that you’re wrong. You are who you are and I don’t want you to be shy about it. If people do not accept you for who you are, they’re just not your people. Your people will accept you, no matter what. Keep that in mind.
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Hey you! I’m glad you are here!
I’m Ysaline, a French time management coach who helps purpose-driven female professionals -just like you- master their time, be more productive and make life-changing money.
I used be the hard-working girl next door, constantly stressed and tired until I couldn’t take it anymore.
It took me years to get where I’m today.
But one thing is sure: making time to find your path, plan your goals, take action to change your life is within your reach.
The last years, I have watched my clients’ lives flourish in unexpected ways. Even if you’re not 100% there for yourself, I’ve got your back!
Ready to master your time?
I have been able to support purpose-driven professionals, like you, master their time, be more productive and make life-changing money because I’ve infused my 7 years of time and energy management experience and thousands of dollars’ investments in books and courses to create a successful framework that works